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June 21, 2011
I went out onto my patio and blew a referee's whistle three times to alert the inconsiderate trumpet-abusing schmuck who insists on littering the airwaves with his incessant atonal garbage that IT 'S ALMOST 10:00 P.M.

I'm laughing like a fucking lunatic. After the third crazed blast, a woman called out, "Hello???" and I darted inside, turned off the lights, and cackled.

After the third shriek into the night, the imbecile continued blaring, as if 3,000,000 decibels of frustration hadn't even existed. I think he paused for a millisecond, but that was probably a glitch in my own internal motherfuckerboard.