June 16, 2011
I had no internal "locus of control" is what psychologists would say. I could not understand and accept the thoughts, feelings and experiences that I had, because other people did not have them. I had the secret beleif that I was crazy, and I always thought that if other people found out what was inside my head, I would be locked up. All the strange and wonderful spiritual and other-worldly experiences I had, I negated because they did not fit the catholic belief system that I grew up with. They were the ideas and experiences that people died for.