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May 22, 2011
After her divorce, Michelle decides to only seek guys in wheelchairs so she won't have to worry about enduring dates that involve horseback-riding, rollerblading, skiing, mountain-climbing, dancing, trampoline-bouncing, sky-diving, or paddle boats.

Anything else, I ask?

Sky-diving, she says with a shudder, remembering Bruce's suggestion years ago.

What about that disabled guy on TV, I say, pulling a mythical guy from my ass, who piggybacked onto an able-bodied friend for a jump?

I just can't win, she says.

I suggest she date morbidly obese guys for the same effect.

She tells me that's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard.