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May 26, 2011
A girl who apparently spends way too much time in tanning beds raves, bordering on giddy lustfulness, to a pale female counterpart about how the sunflower butter she's buying is superior to peanut butter. As she turns to proceed in the opposite direction, I ask what they're talking about and I put a jar in my cart.

"I'm a health and exercise freak!" she says, as if the broad shoulders, athletic stride, kale, overabundance of spandex, and T-shirt announcing some competitive event isn't enough of a giveaway. I could say the same about myself but refrain, thinking, isn't it obvious?