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February 22, 2011
I managed to curl my hair with my straightening iron yesterday. It looked nice, though it terrified me to see my hair steam and notice how much drier it felt when I touched it afterward.

I find lately I'm very focused on appearance. I want to look beautiful. Where one person may write off a feature as "something I was born with, something unchangeable," or a day where, "it can't be helped," I feel defeated. I want perfection.

More than anything, I just want to be untouchable. I never want to be weak for anyone ever again. I can't anymore.