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February 1, 2011
I don't like leaving messages on other people's answering machines which hint at things that are difficult to say. Neither should you. Neither should anyone.

When I press the button on my machine, I want to hear you identify yourself and give your message. Maybe a funny voice. Maybe a little song. Maybe, in this case, maybe a confession that you have been out all night drinking.

Don't tell me what you're having for breakfast and why it made you think of me, and don't tell me that you still sometimes wear my hat. I don't want to hear it.