He sent me a letter today. A huge, huge thing, where he apologized and called himself stupid and selfish and said all these horrible things about himself.

And somehow, I feel no better.

I don't really know what I want anymore.

Sometimes, at my lowest, I just wish he had loved me the way he should have. I wish I would have been the one he picked. I wish I could have been the only one.

I say I miss the concept of love more than I do him, but the truth is that I'll never be "over it."

Never.