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December 22, 2010
There have been many lovely condolences and they are all very much appreciated, but there’s the assumption behind them that I’m feeling incredibly sad. There is a sadness, yes, most definitely, but what is so much more apparent for me is this continuing sense of relief, which can be difficult to explain to people because there’s another assumption that one should feel devastated by the loss of one’s mother. The thing is, we’ve all been feeling devastated for a long time now and devastation by degree is very different to the kind of devastation caused by a sudden, unexpected loss.