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October 15, 2010
Dennis, a philosophy professor I dated in the mid '90s, was a pretentious ponce prone to consuming books whose photos he regarded as "food porn" and who had a kitchen as equipped to concoct feasts to feed the lust of his palate and tongue as a fetishist's dungeon is to satiate all manner of delectable prurience. Once, when in search of his special knife made specifically to slice tomatoes, he was just about to call off the salad when he found it. I'm confident that the salad, although quite delicious, would not have suffered had he used a different knife.