January 14, 2010
I wish I could go with him. I wish I could just upa nd leave; my conscious won't let me. And in my heart I kknow we are better off as best friends. I miss him already and he isn't gone yet. I dread his leaving. I love him so much it hurts even if it ins't goodbye forever. I'm really, really not happy in this stupid marriage. It is not working out despite my prayers and all that I've done, all I've sacrificed to try and be a good wife, a happy wife, and a nice person of God.