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April 14, 2005
NEWS FLASH!!!

We regret to inform the viewing public of The Very Charitable Mrs. Wertheimer that due to circumstances beyond our control, we are not in a position to air the remainder of the program at this time. As of the time of the publication of this NEWS FLASH, we cannot provide any further information. Our lawyers have ordered that we refrain from entertaining any questions and to "not do so much as toss those hungry lions even the stalest of crumbs-.

In light of this latest development, we will substitute alternate programming for the duration of the month.