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August 20, 2009
Sir Straphanger, is it really necessary for your aggressively stringy, sparse, and sweat-clumped underarm foliage to take center stage on the subway? Isn't it enough, in the first place, that you had the selfish indecency to display your pizza-dough flesh in a tank top with arm-holes big enough to reveal that you would be well served by a bra? And you, Madam, do we all need to see your thoughtless contribution, a grayish mush of five o'clock shadow housing small, creased clumps of white deodorant? All in favor of abolishing overexposed underarms in public, raise your well, maybe not.