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July 3, 2009
At long last, a diet soda that you don't have to feel like a pansy-ass drinking in public. That won't make chicks not want to fuck you. That will leave your manhood intact while trying to maintain your girlish figure. Oh, thanks, Pepsi, for not only leaving the fey word "diet" out of the product's name ("Pepsi One" is so Presidential!) but changing the can to black, to drive the point home that fuck YEAH, this drink's got BALLS. Dude!

Man, oh man. If your masculinity hinges on something as flimsy as package design, you truly are a pussy.