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May 17, 2009
Alternate ending: I still donít look back fondly. The fact is: I hate you. I hate what you gave meósymptoms to recover from, behaviors to guard against, painful (and sneaky) reminders cropping up unexpectedly. On my better days: I am immensely proud I survived you; on my worst days, I hate myself for what I became for you, or rather for becoming what you wanted me to become and then having to turn around and un-become it, simply to survive, simply to not die. Now, now I wait for the day when I donít look back at all; it will come.