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February 24, 2009
The lone mushroom escaped from the masses and was in peril of being squashed by a Croc-shod foot or six. I didn't want to return it to the display for fear of a rabid Whole-Foodser telling me that was a filthy thing to do (ne'er mind the inherent filthiness of mushrooms themselves), so I palmed it. Several aisles later, I surreptitiously dropped it into my handbag, where it languished for two days. Even though it was desiccated, I popped it into my mouth last night. I loathe waste. I didn't bother washing it, thus proving I'm dirtier than a mushroom.