Angry feelings go nowhere. Sadness goes nowhere. Any feeling one feels goes nowhere, because people don't really care. Today was blegh. I know it was blegh. I was still sad and the day dragged on. I don't know what exactly was great about today. I personally don't know what to write. I feel really negative and angry. I hate that I'm not able to do the things I want to do. I wished things were more exciting. Maybe then I'll be happy. But then again, a dose of adrenaline don't mean a thing if I feel this crappy. Damn it.

Today is the last day of January. The days of typing mumbo jumbo on this site are gone. My goal for February is to submit good stuff, golden stuff, inspirational stuff. People do read this stuff and it needs to be a better demonstration of the type of writer I am. I have established what a screwed up mess I am, not it is time to flaunt my abilities as a writer. Good or bad, it must be presented. does anybody read my writings? I have no way of knowing. I would like some feedback on occassion. Help me, please.

My mother and Ely were just friends until her surgery. My step-father said no to the sterilization, but she did it anyway. When she got home, he left her outside, struggling up the steps, hunched over with her hand protecting the raw incision. He said when she got inside, he was going to beat her, then turned his back and slammed the door. So she made her way back to the car and to Ely’s. He ran to her side, carried her in, made a clean bed, bought prescriptions and bandages and a new nightgown, scrubbed the bathroom, bathed her.